The Law Is For Lawyers
My brother-in-law is going through a nasty divorce. My family and I have tried to stay out of it as much as possible. Unfortunately, we have on occasion been dragged in to the fray. But through his unfortunate experience, I have learned two truths that I did not otherwise know, nor would I ever have had occasion to know:
1) Men have no rights to their children
2) Courts are for the most part a money scheme
This all started with his wife one day deciding to ask him to leave. His response was "Why?" He had no idea, according to his story, that she wanted him gone. So he left.
The next week, she served him with a do-it-yourself divorce settlement, which, of course, left him with nothing, including the right to see his children. He took it to a lawyer, who promptly served her with divorce papers. His nightmare begins.
He was in a no-win situation from the beginning. If he had signed the original papers, he would have forfeited his right to his children and to an attorney if she decided in the future to take him to court. But now that he is filing for divorce, he has been forced to undergo lie detector tests, pyschological evaluations, and supervised visitations (at our house, my wife being appointed supervisor without consultation to us). He has had to foot the bill for all of the above, plus psych evaluations for his children.
The mother, on the other hand, has been forced to do none of the above to my knowledge. And she has full custody of the children at the present.
The supervised visitations were the result of allegations that his wife made that he visited pornographic websites and was inappropriate with his children, particularly his daughter of eleven. Both he and his wife have restraining orders against the other. The visitation was originally set for Sunday, so as not to interfere with the daughter's sporting events (as this is much more important than visiting her father). On Mother's Day, the wife broke the restraining order by coming upon our porch after calling our home, which was also not allowed according to the order. Deputies were called to assist in the visitation. Nothing was ever filed by the Sheriff's department.
If he had came upon the porch of the house the HE is paying for, he would have been hauled to jail then.
Most recently, he was summoned to court as his wife was trying to stop all visitation after he performed an informal DNA test on his daughter at the request of his lawyer. Formal DNA testing that would meet the chain of custody requirement would be costly, and if the informal tests showed results that the children were definitely his, he would not need the formal tests. Royally making her mad, since one of the charges against her is infidelity, she drags him back to court making accusations that he asked his daughter to "pull her pants down" so he could "check for bruising", which did not occur. Even after this allegation was not proven, supervised visitation at a "visitation center" in town was ordered. Visitation was to occur on each Saturday.
He has not seen his children in 6 weeks. He is allowed one phone call per evening, before 9 o'clock, but he has not been allowed by his wife to speak with his daughter.
Now, I am sure that people who do not know my brother-in-law or his wife would say the following facts are what is really relevant:
1) He left the home
2) He filed for divorce
3) When erring, ere on the side of the safety of the child
I would venture to say that, in divorce cases in which a father is accused of molesting his child, 90-95% of those charges are bogus. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
His lawyer told him that this litigation could last for 3 years. That brings me to the other truth.
Up front, this divorce is cost my brother-in-law $10,000. He had to get a loan to cover the bill, because, like most people, he did not have $10,000 sitting around. The lawyer also stated an amount for retainer. This mess started in April. He has been to court three times already, and they still do not have a divorce. When their divorce trial is set, I do not know. But the longer it drags, the more money the courts and lawyers make.
Speedy trial my foot.
And so if this thing drags for 3 years, he will be paying retainer fees to his lawyer and court costs whenever he goes to court, I am sure.
No wonder men are reluctant to get married these days.
1) Men have no rights to their children
2) Courts are for the most part a money scheme
This all started with his wife one day deciding to ask him to leave. His response was "Why?" He had no idea, according to his story, that she wanted him gone. So he left.
The next week, she served him with a do-it-yourself divorce settlement, which, of course, left him with nothing, including the right to see his children. He took it to a lawyer, who promptly served her with divorce papers. His nightmare begins.
He was in a no-win situation from the beginning. If he had signed the original papers, he would have forfeited his right to his children and to an attorney if she decided in the future to take him to court. But now that he is filing for divorce, he has been forced to undergo lie detector tests, pyschological evaluations, and supervised visitations (at our house, my wife being appointed supervisor without consultation to us). He has had to foot the bill for all of the above, plus psych evaluations for his children.
The mother, on the other hand, has been forced to do none of the above to my knowledge. And she has full custody of the children at the present.
The supervised visitations were the result of allegations that his wife made that he visited pornographic websites and was inappropriate with his children, particularly his daughter of eleven. Both he and his wife have restraining orders against the other. The visitation was originally set for Sunday, so as not to interfere with the daughter's sporting events (as this is much more important than visiting her father). On Mother's Day, the wife broke the restraining order by coming upon our porch after calling our home, which was also not allowed according to the order. Deputies were called to assist in the visitation. Nothing was ever filed by the Sheriff's department.
If he had came upon the porch of the house the HE is paying for, he would have been hauled to jail then.
Most recently, he was summoned to court as his wife was trying to stop all visitation after he performed an informal DNA test on his daughter at the request of his lawyer. Formal DNA testing that would meet the chain of custody requirement would be costly, and if the informal tests showed results that the children were definitely his, he would not need the formal tests. Royally making her mad, since one of the charges against her is infidelity, she drags him back to court making accusations that he asked his daughter to "pull her pants down" so he could "check for bruising", which did not occur. Even after this allegation was not proven, supervised visitation at a "visitation center" in town was ordered. Visitation was to occur on each Saturday.
He has not seen his children in 6 weeks. He is allowed one phone call per evening, before 9 o'clock, but he has not been allowed by his wife to speak with his daughter.
Now, I am sure that people who do not know my brother-in-law or his wife would say the following facts are what is really relevant:
1) He left the home
2) He filed for divorce
3) When erring, ere on the side of the safety of the child
I would venture to say that, in divorce cases in which a father is accused of molesting his child, 90-95% of those charges are bogus. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
His lawyer told him that this litigation could last for 3 years. That brings me to the other truth.
Up front, this divorce is cost my brother-in-law $10,000. He had to get a loan to cover the bill, because, like most people, he did not have $10,000 sitting around. The lawyer also stated an amount for retainer. This mess started in April. He has been to court three times already, and they still do not have a divorce. When their divorce trial is set, I do not know. But the longer it drags, the more money the courts and lawyers make.
Speedy trial my foot.
And so if this thing drags for 3 years, he will be paying retainer fees to his lawyer and court costs whenever he goes to court, I am sure.
No wonder men are reluctant to get married these days.
posted by Badbeans | 3:45 PM
4 Comments:
This is a sad case indeed.
Unfortunately men are almost always the inferiors, in the eyes of the court, when it comes to the responsibility of the children involving custodial rights. I’m not even sure how it got to be that way. Your brother-in-law’s soon to be ex-wife sounds like one very vindictive, malicious and cruel person.
I pray that all turns out for the best for him and his children.
I know polygraphs are inadmissable in criminal courts. Are civil courts different? If so, perhaps "SHE" should take the polygraph test. This all seems to fall in line with the general direction of our society today...the empowerment of women, the emasculation of men, the femenization of male children and the morphing of the family nucleus into a matriarchal pecking order with mom calling the shots.
Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
»
Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
»
Post a Comment
<< Home